Cope with roommate woes
Freshmen react to the R-word differently – excitement, dismay, anxiety.
The Roommate.
“The most beneficial thing about having a roommate your freshman year of college is developing and learning skills that teach you what it means to communicate with someone else,” said Jerome Maese, associate director of Residential Life, Housing and Food Services. “To have a great roommate, you have to be a great roommate.”
Living with someone for the first time in a smaller space can seem daunting, but Maese offered these tips to survive the next nine months of cohabitation.
1) Establish the boundaries: When it comes to another person’s belongings, they might have different standards. They might enjoy sharing or they might keep everything in alphabetized order. Make it clear what is off-limits to avoid blowups in the future.
2) Set the ground rules: What time do lights go out? When are study hours? Is it OK to bring people over after midnight? From visitors to cleaning, talk to your roommate to determine what you can and can’t do.
3) Don’t talk to your parents: It may feel good to get your pet peeves off your chest, but complaining to Mom and Dad won’t fix the problem. If you need a third-party mediator, talk to a resident assistant if you live in the dorms or another person who doesn’t live with you. Find someone who isn’t biased to help you see both sides of the problem.
4) Deal with problems when they first happen: If you let a problem build up, it’s only a matter of time before a simple conflict can turn into a volatile situation. Set aside some time every week to meet with your roommate for lunch or dinner so you can talk and patch up any dilemmas that may arise.
5) Ask for change: When it comes down to it, some people just aren’t meant to live with each other. Whether it’s because of personality or schedule conflicts, don’t force yourself to live in roommate hell. If you live in the dorms, set up an appointment with your resident director and ask for a room change. If you’re off-campus, talk to your landlord and search for other options if possible.
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