Get keen with the scene
I am going to give you very clear directions right now, so follow along closely. Go to your room and delete every single song from your iTunes. Go to MySpace.com, and delete your profile. Then go to Facebook.com and set up an account if you have not done so already. Go do that. Now.
Back? Alright, now I may continue. Everything you ever knew about what is hip and/or cool in high school is now obsolete. Your tastes don’t matter and MTV is nothing but a big fat lie. You are in college. It is time for you, and your tastes in media, to grow up. And I am going to tell you how.
The various sections of the college social scene can be split up into the following: film, and music, fashion and miscellaneous. Since the miscellaneous category is the most vague, I will begin with that.
In order to fit in with the college crowd, our generation’s version of a “counter-culture,” you are going to have to demonstrate individuality. This is how you develop your uniqueness. Through this you will need to find something that not everyone knows about and make it your own. Whether it be Nike sneakers, various wines or comic books, you need to learn everything about them, if you didn’t already. Pretty much take whatever you were secretly obsessed with in high school and make your hobby public so that the world may see you are an individual. This will ironically help you fit right in at college.
Other little quirks are required for public outings and whatnot. Find an interesting drink or dish that you can order when out so that you seem different from the rest of your friends…just like the rest of your friends.
Okay, now once you have mastered that portion, move onto music and film.
With music, you are not allowed to live in the present. You must instead listen to both the past and the future. By this, I mean you cannot listen to Fall Out Boy or Panic at the Disco. By not listening to these bands, you tell people, “Hey man, I am not another sheep to be herded around by corporate bigwigs.”
You stick it to the man, teenager.
Listen instead to the past (meaning bands from the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s and ’90s) and the future (pretty much any band that is signed to a small label that is owned by a bigger label). This tells your peers that you respect those who contributed to history and that you are beyond pop rock.
Unfortunately, when it comes to film, your taste does not speak for itself.
Film for college students is much different than music. When it comes to film, it is all about finding a deeper meaning. After seeing a movie with friends, be sure to develop an opinion as soon as the credits start rolling. Delve deep into the psyche of Tobey Maguire and find that allusion to the Bush Administration no one else could see. Then explain it to your friends and, I promise you, you will amaze them all.
Finally, there is fashion. This one is surprisingly much easier. All you have to do is pretend you do not care. It does not matter if you are wearing pajamas, a tie and a swimmer’s cap, if you do not care, you will be seen as a cool-headed dude, or chick. Just make sure you don’t wear it three days in a row, you might start to smell.
Follow these tips and you will be the coolest, hippest cat on campus. I guarantee you that.
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on Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 at 12:59 am and is filed under Arts & Entertainment.
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