Presidential candidates face-off and McCain needs a nap
Well Nevada, we are here.
It’s the start of the semester. We are getting primed for another four months of classes, studying and trying to kill the time in between. One good way to kill that time, as I have found, is to prepare for the upcoming election.
The time to choose your president has come. With all the attack ads and high-flying rumors going around, sorting through all the muck to reach the real information can be difficult.
Allow me to break it down for you. Sen. Barack Hussein Obama (no relation to our late dictator friend) is a rookie senator from Illinois running for the Democrats. He is half black, half-secret Muslim and allegedly at least one-eighth Klingon. Although his dancing skills are questionable, Obama can sink a solid three-pointer. He is well known for a speech given at the Democratic National Convention in 2004.
On the other side we have good old Sen. John McCain and when I say “old,” it is not a term of endearment. This guy really is old. His war-hero credentials stretch back to the Spanish-American War.
McCain has been around the block a few times and shows no signs of quitting. He is like the Energizer Bunny, except with gray hair and no bass drum (McCain has back problems).
McCain has always had the tough-guy appearance that draws many supporters. In addition to his apparent qualifications on foreign policy, McCain is known for being one of the only politicians to fall asleep during one of his own speeches.
The next time you lay awake at night, play an old McCain speech for a while.
Now that we have the candidates sorted out, how can anyone decide which one to support?
Iraq never fails to bring them new material to bicker over. Recently, Iraqi and U.S. officials sat down to tentatively discuss plans for U.S. troop withdrawal. Although nothing is set in stone yet, the Iraqi Deputy Foreign Minister said there is a potential withdrawal date set for June 30 of next year.
Now what does this mean to the average student like you and me? Just watch and listen to the reactions of Obama and McCain to this news. Obama will no doubt be overjoyed but saddened that he won’t have a chance to talk the insurgents to death. McCain may not like the idea, since he was hoping for another 100 years.
Other current events to play with are given to us by our old nemesis—Russia. Russia wins this month’s prize for giving us the best global event to make fun of politicians over. For example, McCain was speaking about Russia’s invasion of the country Georgia. He said that since this is the 21st century, countries “just don’t invade other countries.” Good one, John.
What McCain meant to say was that it was not cool to invade other countries after 2003. But we have to cut him some slack, as it was before 1 p.m. when he said that and he hadn’t had his Metamucil yet. I would be cranky, too. How can anyone function without that fiber goodness?
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on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 1:37 am and is filed under Perspectives.
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