Orgasms - To fake or not to fake?
Men should fake their orgasms.
I watched “What Women Want” starring Mel Gibson. Before his character and Lola (Marisa Tomei) have sex, she thinks to herself, “Just do it already so I can start faking it. Is Britney Spears on Leno tonight?”
I turned and asked Scarlett if she ever faked an orgasm and she said, “Yes, when we first started dating.”
My first reaction was to call her a liar for faking. Then I chastised myself for not bringing the thunder to every sexual encounter. Finally I thought, “Fine. If you’re going to fake your orgasms, I’ll just fake mine, and then we’ll see who gets off!”
After giving this revengeful ploy further thought, I saw some problems with my logic. It’s almost as bad as women punishing men by shutting off their vaginas for a week. I would only be punishing myself.
I talked to Scarlett and asked her why she faked it. She said it was because the orgasm “wasn’t going to happen” and because she wasn’t comfortable communicating her needs at the time. She said she doesn’t fake it anymore because those things aren’t a problem.
Some of you are thinking, “Yeah right, she just said that to make you feel better.” I say it’s pretty hard to fake an orgasm when you’re hooked up to a lie detector. Or when you actually ask your partner what he or she wants during sex.
A fellow sex columnist for Student Life at Washington University in St. Louis wrote a guide to faking female orgasms. She said to always keep water, blush and eye drops on your nightstand in order to turn your orgasm into a theatrical event.
“Finally, break out your best soprano and your inner actress. Don’t hold back: The harder you yell, the sooner it will be over,” Susannah Cahalan wrote in Student Life. “Right as he’s about to fall asleep, begin the questions: ‘Have you had any serious relationships?’ ‘How many people have you slept with?’ ‘Where is this going?’ and if it’s really bad, ‘Do you love me?’ ”
This advice sounds a bit like rape prevention, but maybe that’s the point. Is faking an orgasm just for that one-night stand you can’t wait to end? Maybe I’m stupid, but doesn’t it defeat the purpose of a one-night stand if it’s a dreadful experience?
For the relationship-impaired, a fake orgasm is a polite way to say “Your penis just isn’t my type.” For everyone else, couples often fake orgasms because they are tired or distracted, not because they’re dissatisfied. The first two are easy to deal with – take a nap or do your homework – but if you’re in a relationship and dissatisfied, there may be deep-rooted issues with self-esteem, repressed emotions or more.
If you’re lucky, a new position, rhythm or exploratory fantasy will stop the faking. If not, be honest with one another and yourself. Talk through what’s bothering you and patiently help each other discover how to give and receive an eye-crossing orgasm.
This entry was posted
on Monday, November 24th, 2008 at 11:26 pm and is filed under Perspectives.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Print this post
Email this post© 2008 The Nevada Sagebrush
