The Nevada Sagebrush

Extremely dark and proud of it, “Observe and Report”is an excruciatingly painful viewing experience that represents the worst in low-budget filmmaking.

Continuing with the theme of heroic mall cops, “Observe and Report”is the penis-filled, booze-promoting sleaze fest “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”never aspired to be. As the head of mall security, Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen, “Monsters vs. Aliens”) lives a meaningless existence day after day pursuing free coffee and a moronic big-breasted, small-brained cosmetics girl, Brandi (Anna Farris, “The House Bunny”).

After a flasher terrorizes multiple women in the mall’s parking lot, Barnhardt finds purpose to his life by vowing to catch the pervert before Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta, “Crossing Over”), the egotistical lawman called in to investigate, does.

To put it simply, this movie is a pretentious waste of film. In trying to create a dramatic reflective film on the miserable life of a mall cop, director Jody Hill (”The Foot Fist Way”) forgot to add one essential piece of filmmaking to his first major film – a likeable or relatable character.

From the bipolar jackass that Rogen plays, to the revolting and obese flasher, every character is flawed in such a way that it is impossible to care what happens to any of them. When you don’t care what happens to the characters, it becomes extremely difficult to care for the movie itself.

While some scenes, mostly involving Rogen’s constantly drunk mother (Celia Weston, “The Invasion”), are amusing, the extreme dark tone takes many jokes over-the-top.

Like most other comedies today, “Observe and Report”relies heavily on physical and gross humor. But unlike other comedies, this film does not take the light approach to those jokes that make them OK to laugh at. One instance comes when Rogen is fighting a group of angry homies on the wrong side of town.  Out of nowhere, while judo chopping a guy, the camera jumps to a scene of the victims bone starting to protrude from his now mutilated arm.

Another example comes when Rogen, blindly obsessed with Faris’ character, takes her out on a date.  The night consists of awkward stares as Faris drinks more than a stereotypical college student, making out after vomiting and finally Rogen taking advantage of Faris while she is practically unconscious. These instances may work in ridiculous teen comedies, but come off as extremely inappropriate and repulsive when troubled adults perform the acts.

Ultimately taking the film to levels of awful that not even the Jonas Brothers could reach (well, maybe not) is the muddled plot shown in an annoyingly pompous style.

Throughout the film Ronnie is constantly fighting to become more than just a slumming mall cop – he wants to be a hero.  Ronnie’s idea of a hero is standing up to a boss or finding a useless clue to a case, which is then portrayed in a slow motion scene expressing his godliness. On top of the ridiculous self-glorifying moments is inspiring guitar music that exemplifies the unmatched “cool”that sets this movie apart from others.  Give me a break…

Easily the worst film of the year thus far, “Observe and Report”is under no circumstances worth observing.

Jay Brissenden can be reached at jbrissenden@nevadasagebrush.com.

‘Observe and Report’
Release Date: April 10
Director: Jody Hill
Starring: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris and Ray Liotta
Genre: Action, Comedy
Rating: R for pervasive language, graphic nudity, drug use, sexual content and violence.
Grade: D-

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