Thanksgiving brings up reflections on life, death

Monday, November 30, 2009 - 1:20 AM

Hayley Rasmussen

It’s time to be thankful for family, friends, life and death. These last few months of the year are for reflecting on all that went well and all that you learned.

On the job, I always remind myself how lucky I am to be in this position and have a defined career path, even when that means we euthanize an animal or lose a battle we fought hard.

To many, losing an animal has increasingly become more like losing a family member. Though it’s usually the right decision, delivering death to the suffering never gets easier. When we put down an animal at work, I realize how precious life is and how thankful I am to be alive.

The first euthanasia I took part in was not for one of my own animals, but for one of a 14-year-old girl’s who had rescued an old, starved horse from a slow death. She had ridden him years earlier and brought him home to have a happy summer.

But as the weeks passed, he couldn’t get up easily and his eyes showed he was done fighting. As a noble and strong horse, not being able to rise broke his spirit and he was scared, so the right thing to do was let him go. When we arrived, the girl and her parents were brushing the old gelding and loving him, with tears streaming from their eyes. This poor girl was losing her close friend. We filled the syringe and talked to the family before delivering the shot. When the horse hit the ground, so did the young girl. I lost it. Tears streamed down my own cheeks.

Over the next year, I grew stronger on the outside with each life lost. My boss always says, “It never gets easier to push the plunger on the syringe.” But I learned to contain my tears and instead give comforting words to my clients.

Last summer we had another emergency call about an old horse that was unable to rise. When we arrived, the horse was barely breathing. It was obvious it was too late.

Because the horse was unable to rise, he had become extremely dehydrated, which made it difficult to get the needle into his vein. After many tries, my boss finally got it in, but was unable to push the plunger without losing the needle placing. So she asked me to do it. I was in emergency mode. I didn’t think twice; I just acted. I connected the syringe, pushed, discarded and grabbed the second syringe of euthanasia solution.

As we drove away, it hit me. I had taken a life. I pushed the plunger full of the lethal chemicals. My boss seemed to notice this at the same time I did, and asked if I was OK. It hurt. Deep inside, my heart ached. But I realized I did not take his life; I took his suffering. I ended the pain.

On hard days like those, I still try to realize how thankful I am to have my job and for everything I learn from it. I am thankful I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that I attend an amazing university. I’m thankful for each breath every day.

Hayley Rasmussen is a pre-veterinary major and rides big, pretty horses in her spare time. Reach her at perspectives@nevadasagebrush.com.