Fight Winter term like undead corpses

Monday, January 18, 2010 - 11:16 PM

Emily Katseanes

I knew taking a Wintermester class wouldn’t be easy, but I also didn’t expect it to call on my most valuable area of expertise: zombie survival. The mental fortitude and physical gumption required to live in a world of the flesh-eating undead is a perfect template for surviving that heinous three weeks also known as “graduating somewhat on time.”

Do take advantage of a deserted campus

If a zombie apocalypse comes, one of the first things to go is the traditional buy-sell economy. Everywhere gets looted and deserted until some intrepid survivors wade through the wreckage looking for anything of value. Wintermester presents a similar scene: empty buildings, a deserted campus and no lines for Chinese food. You may lose most of your friends, but you’ll be able to get a computer in the Knowledge Center.

Don’t let downtime deceive you

After the initial scare, Wintermesters and zombie apocalypses calm down a little. Maybe you’ve finished the first round of reading or have finally found a safe hideout. Whatever it is, don’t let your guard down. It’s in those moments of relaxation that assignments will sneak up on you like a reanimated corpse. Stay alert and stay alive.

Do bond with your classmates

When surviving a zombie outbreak, grouping together is usually a good strategy. Sure there are more mouths to feed, but there’s also more people to guard your safe zone and shoulders to cry on in those dark moments. Wintermester requires the same solidarity. When your class starts, you may see your peers as competition, but before long, everyone has the same starved look from constantly reading and never seeing the sun. Become teammates and you can share notes on the reading and commiserate when it gets hard (and it will).

Accept that once it’s over, it starts again

As soon as you kill one band of zombies, another group is bound to hear the gunshots and come around to bite your compatriots. If you camp out in a sweet place like an abandoned mall, eventually some jerks will fight you for it and you’ll be back out in the lonely wilderness. Cyclical is the nature of surviving zombies and so it goes for school. When you’re done with one book, another takes its place. Finish a paper yesterday and another will be due tomorrow. When your Wintermester class ends on Thursday, spring semester starts on Tuesday. Develop a Zen attitude and focus on survival.

But don’t give up

Every zombie outbreak survivor and Wintermester student knows one more important skill: fight despair. No matter how bad things are, do not lose the will to live. As your friends turn into mindless brain munchers and you begin to wonder how much longer you can go on at this level of exhaustion, the will to live will be your biggest asset. Fight the urge to give in. Eventually, the snow will melt, the dead will stay dead and you will be glad you lived long enough to see Spring Break.

Emily Katseanes is perspectives editor. Reach her at ekatseanes@nevadasagebrush.com.