Assimilation into Italian culture hits snags, but succeeds

Monday, March 22, 2010 - 10:34 PM

Kathleen Phelan

Did you watch the Oscars a few weeks ago? Have you texted your brother or sister today? If you have done either of these things, I’d say it’s a safe bet that you’re hanging out in America right now.

On our first day of orientation in Torino, our director Alyssa told us that one of the most important things we should try to do while abroad was disengage a little from our home lives. By this, she meant things like talking less to our friends back home, not expecting to keep American routines (like not grocery shopping on a Sunday ever again) and speaking less English.

By doing these things, it’s supposed to be easier for us to integrate into Italian culture and leave behind the things from back home that may distract us from this goal. I have to wonder, though, is it really true that maintaining close ties with home can keep us from absorbing everything here, or do we still stand a chance even if we can’t let go of our nostalgia for things such as peanut butter?

I won’t pretend the idea for this article didn’t come to me while I was trying to find a way to watch one of my favorite TV shows from home, “Modern Family,” on a Europe-accessible Web site. As unbelievable as it sounds, sites including Hulu, NBC, ABC, Netflix and even Pandora do not work outside of the United States. Call it the cruel hand of fate or call it unwieldy licensing fees that make it too expensive to grant non-American access. Either way, it was an unfortunate shock that we all had to deal with upon arriving in Torino.

Those minor tragedies aside, I don’t think my transition has been all that bad.

In a lot of ways, I’ve done my best to assimilate. I’ve made Italian friends, I’ve been able to let go of having a cell phone attached to my side 24/7 and I’ve even grown used to cooking semi-genuine meals for myself every night (if for no other reason than my apartment seriously doesn’t have a microwave). But I still don’t know if I’ve really detached from my stateside routine. My inability to let go of my Mexican food craving, for example, means I pay $4 for about two puny servings of salsa every time I go to the grocery store.

Of course, small things like this don’t really get to the heart of the issue. In many ways, how we live our daily lives makes up a lot of our identity. So if we’re being asked to shed all of that for the time that we’re abroad, are we being asked to stop being ourselves? I’m really not sure of the answer here.

I would much rather insist that I can absorb Italian culture while still Skyping my friends, because if I admit otherwise, I might have to relinquish that familiarity and instead spend my time taking a passeggiata or finally braving an Italian hairdresser. If I had to be honest with myself, though, I sometimes feel as if I am living the same life, with the minor caveat that it happens to be in Italy.

In some ways, it’s inevitable. I could give up speaking English completely and I would still never truly be Italian, although I imagine I’d get at least somewhat closer. If my goal was to experience Italy and everything it has to offer, I’m succeeding so far. But if I instead intended to live life as if I were Italian from now until May, I could already predict that it would probably be a bit of a failure.

As long as I’m clear on what I want to get out of the experience, I can make sure things go according to plan. And for me, renouncing the English language and eating only pasta just may not be in the cards. Which isn’t to say, of course, that I’m not still being won over by the charms of Italy. It’s just that when I get back home in May, I probably will never be so grateful to see a microwave or a Reese’s cup again in my whole life. And that’s fine by me.

Read Kathleen Phelan’s blog at kathleenintorino.blogspot.com or reach her at kphelan@nevadasagebrush.com.