The Nevada Sagebrush

Nevada athletics is a lot like comedian/actor Rob Schneider.

Before I say why, I’ll first explain the context to my comparison.

Emerson Marcus

Last week’s column “Death of a conference” was berated by Nevada haters. One in particular named “you stink,” who along with trying to highlight my lack of hygiene, said: “Terrible writer” — that’s me— “Nevada is a FCS school that doesn’t belong in FBS football.”

I’ll admit he is right.

I sometimes go an entire day without showering. I try to avoid this for students who sit next to me in class and my girlfriend.

But is “youstink” right about Nevada not deserving to be a FBS school?

Nevada hasn’t proven it on the field or with revenue and attendance.

The Wolf Pack hasn’t beaten a Bowl Championship Series team since Northwestern in 2006. It also has lost 10 straight games to Boise State, Nevada’s biggest rival, other than the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

The Broncos outscored Nevada an average of 50-22 in that span. The Wolf Pack has made this rivalry much closer in recent years, but it still hasn’t reached that seemingly unattainable win.

Nevada is also getting ready to join the Mountain West Conference with a far from stellar record of funding in its athletics department.

Wolf Pack athletics would rank second to last in generated football revenue ($4.8 mil) in the MWC if it joined this year. The program actually lost $800,000 last year.

So, as Nevada continues to climb the ranks to a more competitive and lucrative conference, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Rob Schneider.

Schneider — a Saturday Night Live alum and star of the extremely underrated “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo”— is deserved of his mild stardom.

SNL skits like “Makin’ Copies” and “The Sensitive Naked Man” were always good for a laugh.

His cameos in Adam Sandler movies made for quotable lines, but has he ever been an actor who can compete head to head with summer blockbuster stars?

Four gubernatorial debates have a better chance of saving Rory Reid’s campaign than Schneider does of ever gaining a lead role again.

However, his mild success shouldn’t go unacknowledged, just as Nevada’s 2005 WAC Championship or its five consecutive bowl appearances.

Nevada has a mildly successful college football team just as Rob Schneider is a mildly successful actor.

But, unlike Schneider’s declining career, Nevada enters the 2010 season with its best chance yet to catapult to FBS stardom. The 2010 season is to Nevada what “The Hot Chick” was to Schneider’s career — a chance for a big break.

CBSSPORTS.com ranks Nevada No. 52 in the nation, in the top half of the FBS and ahead of 26 BCS schools.

“Youstink” has a good argument, but so do people who disagree with him/her. Nevada is one of those programs nestled on the middle of a seesaw about to topple in one direction.

With so much talent returning in 2010, the football team might need to do some things its failed to do in recent years — beat a BCS team and/or Boise State.

Getting swept in these three games, and losing a bowl game, would be devastatingly disappointing.

It would also give Nevada little to be proud of as it transitions into its new conference, not to mention fueling the “you stink” argument.

This could be Nevada’s year to impress, get that big deal and move up in the world.

Or perhaps future school newspaper columnists will compare the Nevada football program to Tom Arnold’s career.

Emerson Marcus can be reached at emarcus@nevadasagebrush.com.

Related Posts:

• Joining paper was the best, worst decision I’ve made
• Column: Tips to keep sports’ streak
• Boise State sweeps Pack to start WAC play
• Difficult schedule the only option for the Wolf Pack
• WAC Tournament: Nevada to face Idaho in quarterfinals