The Nevada Sagebrush

“Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” is the 3-D sequel to Nicolas Cage’s 2007 classic superhero film, “Ghost Rider,” which is based on the Marvel Comics character. Photo courtesy of Columbia Pictures.

It is common knowledge that bad movies outnumber the good ones. It is a lesser-known fact that there are many different degrees of bad movies.  There are some that are just lousy (“Green Lantern”).  There are others that are so bad they tickle your funny bone (any “Twilight” film), and then there are some that just have no redeeming qualities at all (“G.I. Joe”).

Last weekend, I discovered another degree of bad: the movie that is so jaw-droppingly awful it will have you questioning your sanity.  I found this out about 10 minutes into “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.”

The original “Ghost Rider” was a perfectly good example of a bad movie.  It was a dreadful, but harmless film about a lesser-known Marvel Comics character, played by Nicolas Cage in his typical fashion: bizarre facial expressions, awkward line deliveries and a grossly misplaced sense of urgency.

In fact, you could argue that all of those traits actually suited the character he played: a stunt motorcyclist who makes a deal with the devil that eventually turns him into the Ghost Rider, a demon with a flaming skull for a head.

For some reason, the writing and directing duo of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who brought us the two “Crank” films, thought “Ghost Rider” needed a sequel.  So Cage, in all of his dreadful acting splendor, is back as the fiery, motorcycle-riding demon.

I would tell you what “Ghost Rider” is about, but that would require me to explain the plot, and I don’t recall one.  There is a kid (Fergus Riordan), and the devil (Ciarán Hinds, “The Woman in Black”) wants him.  Why the devil wants him is never explained; he just does.  The narrative exists solely to transition from one seizure inducing, ear splitting action set piece to the next, none of which are that exciting.

I believe Cage must have made a wager with a friend that he can put together a performance worse than the one he gave in “The Wicker Man.”  Nothing else can explain some of the acting choices he makes in this one, which even by his standards are way beyond disconcerting.

Cage was a little loopy in the first “Ghost Rider.” In the sequel, he cranks the insanity meter up to 11.  There are scenes where the Ghost Rider pisses fire, barfs lava on a guy’s face, and turns a construction vehicle into a fiery death machine.  Somehow, all of those things are less absurd than Cage’s antics when he isn’t a poorly computer-generated fire demon.  Whenever he speaks, you are torn between laughing and being legitimately concerned about his mental health.

Cage is the biggest offender in this movie, but none of the other actors offer much help.  Riordan and Cage’s interactions are physically painful to watch.  Violante Placido, who plays the boy’s mother, fails to get you to care about her character at all.  Idris Elba, who usually plays bit parts in entertaining flicks like “Thor” and “RocknRolla,” is completely wasted as an eccentric warrior monk who happens to be a wine connoisseur.

Christopher Lambert, a veteran of awful movies, shows up for a few minutes near the end.  But it is Hinds who is especially disappointing.  In one very horrible, hammy performance as the devil, he manages to completely eradicate his barely restrained, intimidating, yet regal demeanor he displayed so finely as Julius Caesar in the underappreciated HBO series “Rome.”

Granted “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” never looked like it would even be an OK film.  At the very least, it could have tried to end up in the “bad but funny” category, instead of the psychotic, abysmal train wreck that it is.  I can disparage Cage, Neveldine and Taylor all I want for this, but as I continue to be plagued by visions of a demon-headed Cage urinating a stream of fire, I realize I have only myself to blame.

‘Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance’

Release Date: Feb. 17

Director: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Idris Elba and Ciarán Hinds

Genre: Action, Adventure

Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, some disturbing images and language

Grade: F

Kyle Wise can be reached at arts-entertainment@nevadasagebrush.com.

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