By JP Cadena

It’s such a waste of money for boys, like their [girl’s] not gonna kiss you, they just want your alcohol.”

This was sent to me by a female friend of mine in a casual conversation the other day. I shared my thoughts about the female-male stigmas of the party life. She confidently agreed with me on my philosophy of the nightlife.

Most of the time, buying random girls drinks is a bigger waste of money than Hellen Keller buying an expensive pair of reading glasses. Only a minute number of times men will get a pity kiss or a number (probably with no returned text). And for the few that are successful, congrats. For those few of you, don’t forget to follow up at the health clinic, if you catch my drift.

I have literally been a victim to this logic beautiful women use. Once I had a girl point to me and say, “Let’s go talk to him, he looks like he will buy us drinks.”

I have witnessed dozens of my friends fall victim to these she-devil tactics. I have watched as some of my closest friends “spit game” at girls, buy a few drinks and maybe get one of those petty kisses. But brothers, what you don’t realize is you’re getting played — used even. You’re not getting lucky; you’re getting more used than your buddies’ communal Netflix accounts.

I have even had fellow girlfriends try and repay me for these injustices! Some of my closest lady friends prey on the bar scene’s “nice guys” to get me drinks. Don’t get me wrong, ladies. I love a good whiskey Coke at no cost just as much as the next guy, but I couldn’t take advantage of a brother like that. It could have been me!

You see, buying a random girl a drink at the bar is like being one of the guys who rebounds for NBA players before the game starts. You are on the court for warmups. Maybe take a few free throws. Even dribble the ball around a little. Then it’s game time. You go and warm the bench. The players are done using you for their benefit and move on to their main focus of the night: their scheduled opponent.

Come on, man. What girl is going be at a bar who is either not with a group or meeting someone? Just because you say a couple of sly lines and buy her a drink or two doesn’t mean she’s going to go home with you that night. So stop trying.

“Buying a woman a drink just to hook up with them is the biggest mistake guys can make. Show them what you have to offer besides money. Women don’t respect you if all you have to offer is free drinks.” These are wise words from my best friend, David Ferris. Men should realize the truth in them.

There are two things that a lot of women really appreciate: respectful gentlemen and a good chase. Respectful gentlemen beat vodka Redbulls any day.

As far as the good chase part goes, easily the most attention I get from girls is when they ask me to buy them a drink and I laugh and respond with a hard “no.” Once you reject them, odds are they care more about getting you than the free drink now.

For the record I am not saying don’t buy any girl a drink. But I do advise against buying random girls drinks.

To men that have fallen into the trap of buying random girls drinks: If it didn’t work out, my heart goes out to you. To the successful, congrats.

Any woman offended by this article please contact me and I will buy you a drink.

Good luck, boys.

JP studies business management. He can be reached at alexandraschultz@unr.edu and on Twitter @jpeazy10.