By Erin Fuss
Guys, we’ve all been there (even us ladies) and approached an attractive person at a bar or club to initiate a conversation, a drink or maybe more. Unfortunately, sometimes these encounters don’t pan out how we want. These are some things that I have learned from my personal experience and friends’ stories that really pay off when it comes to picking up that special person.
Money Can’t Buy You Love
Most of us like to start up a conversation with an offer to buy a drink. “This one’s on me!” is always an appreciated offer, whether it’s tea or tequila. But remember, a drink is just a drink. It doesn’t equate to a kiss, sexual favor or even a returned conversation. The same goes for dinner, movie tickets or any other gifts.
If the offer is met with enthusiastic reception, congrats! You’ve made it past the first (slightly awkward) encounter, and have been lucky enough to strike up a conversation.
Take Cues before you Make a Move
Let’s say your pickup line has been a success and you’ve made it into conversation-station. If the opportunity arises, and the other person indicates they are interested, there may be a perfect opportunity for a kiss.
Follow that other person’s cues and respect their comfort levels. Keep in mind their feelings. After all, sex and love are activities that take a minimum of two, not just you. Let’s be real, a lot of us get down in college, and a one-night stand is nothing to be ashamed of. But, if someone is too drunk, shying away physically or telling you to stop, listen to them and respect their decision. No one needs a reason or justification to say no. Sex should always be a resounding yes from both people involved.
A Swing and A Miss: Cue up the Rebound Playlist.
If you’re like me, “my friends,” sometimes, you step up to the plate… and strike out. But sometimes someone’s just not interested, and that’s ok– everyone has their own preferences or reasons for saying “no thank you.” So if the offer is declined, respect the no. Don’t demand to know why you were rejected. Not all encounters with that seemingly perfect person go over so well. If that’s the case, take a deep breath, cue up the rebound playlist (hello Beyoncé), enjoy the rest of your night, and let that other person enjoy theirs.
As with everything, from kissing, to moving to that next intimate level, sex is about finding the perfect opportunity to make something mind blowing happen. Whether it starts with a drink, or a laugh over a failed pickup line – every part of it should start from a basis of consent. Check out YesAlways.org to find out more about consent and view the resources we have available for students.
Erin Fuss studies journalism. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter @TheNevadaSagebrush.