By Neil Patrick Healy
STOCK UP: Bishop Gorman and Ronnie Stanley
Whenever you utter the words “Bishop Gorman” to a Las Vegas native, they look visibly ill. Anyone who didn’t attend Bishop Gorman High School who grew up in Las Vegas pretty much views the school as the evil empire in “Star Wars.” Gorman’s powerhouse sports programs promote feelings of animosity, resentment, and bitterness by beating down other schools year by year. If you share these feelings of hostility toward the Gaels, then you are about to feel sick to your stomach.
Former Gorman standout Ronnie Stanley has become the poster child for why good Las Vegas athletes should play for the Gaels. He will graduate from Notre Dame with a degree in management entrepreneurship, was a consensus All- American at left tackle and is a projected top-10 pick of the 2016 NFL draft. Have you thrown up yet? Don’t worry, it gets better. Now Stanley has signed with Jay Z’s Roc Nation Sports. All-American, top NFL draft pick and you get Jay Z to represent you? Stanley is making Gorman look good.
STOCK DOWN: Derrick Williams
The New York Knicks forward was having another day in the life of an NBA player. He beat the Philadelphia 76ers, hit the club in Manhattan and brought home two women to his apartment around 7 a.m. Once he woke up at 4 p.m., he found that the two women had stolen his Louis Vuitton backpack filled with $750,000 of jewelry.
One, he plays for the Knicks, so his stock is automatically low. Two, his two-year contract with the Knicks is worth $10 million, so $750,000 is a huge chunk of that contract and now you let two groupies take it from you. Three, I know that Williams was having a fantastic night before that because he was partying until 7 a.m. in Manhattan. I can only imagine how terrible he must have felt waking up hungover at 4 p.m. with a backpack of jewelry stolen. In short, stop trusting groupies and get a safe.
Neil Patrick Healy can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter @NP_Healy.