STOCK UP: TRAVIS KELCE
Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is due for an interesting offseason. After Kelce signed a five-year, $46 million contract extension, it was announced by E! that the NFL star will be the centerpiece in a new reality dating show called “Catching Kelce.” Fifty women, one from every state in the country, will compete for the tight end’s affection over eight episodes. It’s “The Bachelor” meets “Hard Knocks” and I’m hoping there’s just a little hint of “Flavor of Love” in there too. Is the show going to have the girls going through tackling drills? Training camp-style fights? Is this going to be glorified lingerie football? It’s going to be so intriguing! I’m also hoping that J.J. Watt makes an appearance somehow. It’s not the worst thing in the world to have 50 gorgeous women fighting over you while you make money off it. Kudos, Kelce.
STOCK DOWN: AUSTRALIAN RUGBY
Video surfaced on Wednesday, Jan. 27, of Australian rugby player Michael Pierce being so drunk that he forced a lesbian woman to give him a kiss before urinating on himself and her couch. The Rugby star proceeds to take the girl’s dog and simulates having sex with it. Obviously, Pierce drank too much at the booze cruise he and his teammates were at in Sydney earlier that day. The worst part about this story is that this incident is the newest controversy in a line of head-scratching stories of rugby players doing questionable things while they’re drunk. Playmaker Todd Carney was released from the Cronulla Sharks back in 2014 for being photographed peeing into his own mouth in a club bathroom. Back in 2010, centre Joel Monaghan was released by the Canberra Raiders for being photographed posing having sex with a dog. Two cases of simulating sex with dogs and one guy peeing into his mouth, and these are just the stories we do hear about.
Neil Patrick Healy can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter @NP_Healy.