my mornings typically follow a common routine. I roll out of bed, brew the same shitty 8 – ounce cup of coffee and try to catch a glimpse of whatever morning show I am not too late to watch. All doing this of course while switching to “The Price is Right” on commercial breaks (God forbid I miss a game of Plinko). Last Monday was not much different. Morning show of choice – “The Talk.” What one of the cast members said has stuck with me since.
It was the morning following the second presidential debate. The topic of conversation was not much different than the thousands of other similar ones being had across America and even the rest of the world. This election has spiraled into some sick form of entertainment. Our candidates resemble loathed childhood bullies more than potential world leaders. On this related note, Underwood mentioned that many Germans were calling the 2016 US presidential election “The Muppet Show.”
This got me thinking. Germany, this has to be offensive to the Muppets. Maybe if the 2016 candidates had more similar characteristics of the Muppets, this election would be less of a laughing stock and more of a prophetic chance of a brighter future. It’s so unfortunate that the political conversations in our living rooms have changed from pridefully backing a candidate to instead chatting over the “lesser of two evils.” Something that “The Muppet Show” and the 2016 election have in common is the prevailing theme of jokes. The Muppets ingeniously craft jokes in their skits, while the candidates are pretty much jokes period.
Here are a few reasons why The Muppets would be offended by this comparison:
1. The Muppets have better manners.
I can confidently say that Kermit the Frog would never make comments about groping Miss Piggy! The Muppets would never make ill-hearted comments regarding their peers!
2. The Muppets are entertaining for the right reasons.
The Muppets have entertained thousands over the years spanning a large age gap. They have taught children lessons through their sketches while also entertaining adults with their clever innuendos. The presidential debates have transitioned into more of an unfortunate form of entertainment instead of an informative platform. Instead of hearing candidates stances on issues, we now listen to the candidates just badger each other until time runs out.
3. The Muppets have more nuanced perspective on our country’s race issues.
Come on, people. Kermit has said it himself. “It ‘ain’t easy being green.” He knows there are problems in this country in regard to systemic racism. When in the past, Clinton has made the comment insinuating African Americans were “superpredators” in a 1996 interview. And as for Trump, well, do I even have to explain?
4. Animal is more articulate than Donald Trump.
One of the Muppets protagonists, Animal, is known for having a very limited vocabulary. Most of what he mutters is grunts and one syllable phrases. I’m sure a lot of the time we wish Trump would just grunt. Maybe that would spare us from the moronic comments we all have witnessed this election. Ah yes, I would take “ummm, ughhhhh” over mocking those with disabilities any day.
5. The Muppets live more honestly.
Kermit the Frog said it best: “Never try and mess up someone’s life with a lie when yours can be destroyed with the truth.” Our candidates are constantly berating each other. Both are constantly accusing each other of things, and although many things the candidates may say about each other could be argued truthful, others may be undeniably false. It is pretty safe to say both candidates have probably committed some morally questionable things in their pasts.
So Germany, yeah, I too agree this election is a laughing stock. But at this point I’m wishing some of my favorite Muppets were running for office.
Ali Schultz studies journalism. She can be reached at email@example.com and on Twitter @TheSagebrush.