Beyoncé did that thing again. She broke the internet announcing over instagram that she is expecting twins.
The post read: “We would like to share our love and happiness. We have been blessed two times over. We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by two, and we thank you for your well wishes. – The Carters.”
Immediately a flood of congrats came rushing in for America’s practically royal couple. But in the midst of all the congratulatory offerings and blessed wishes for the prominent couple I couldn’t help but to think selfish thoughts.
Like ‘why the hell is Beyoncé at 20 weeks preggers still hotter than me’? ‘Will my baby pics look half this good?’ But, most importantly, ‘Is Beyoncé performing at Coachella or what?’
Judging by her bump size in her insta pic, medical experts estimate the singer is approximately 4-5 months along. That would mean Queen B would be taking the biggest festival stage in the world by storm at 7-8 months pregnant. What rattles my brain the most is that this came as the biggest shock to Coachella owner, Philip Anschutz. Anschutz claims he was kept entirely in the dark about the pregnancy when Beyoncé agreed to perform on the desert stage in Indio.
Listen, it’s no secret I am no Beyoncé. My dance moves are more comparable to those of Taylor Swift (which means I probably am better off not dancing at all) and my shower head wishes it could run away when it even thinks I’m about ready to belt out a tune. To sum things up, my performance skills are pretty much non existent and I think it would be best to spare all from me wearing any sort of sparkly leotard. But, one thing I do know is, there are times when I don’t even want to make eye contact with people when it’s that time of the month, let alone be 7-8 months pregnant performing in front of nearly 100,000 people.
It isn’t that I doubt Beyoncé or any women’s abilities just because they are pregnant. But the fact of the matter is when Coachella rolls around, the starlette will be in her third trimester of what is considered a high risk pregnancy. According to the March of Dimes, an organization that raises money for preemie babies, 60 percent of twins are born prematurely in their 8th month of pregnancy. And high intense cardio, such as the dance moves Beyoncé usually displays is a pregnancy no no. So fans can probably kiss hopes of Beyoncé leading any crazy dance numbers right out the window.
In most recent news, TMZ says that the show will go on. Beyoncé has confirmed she will still be rocking the stage. In fact the singer has already booked 2 guest stars to join her. And I hope that’s how things play out because I will not die happy until I can sing “Partition” alongside B. Her performance just may be a little more stationary than expected.
However, all I am saying is unless Coachella owners have potential arrangements for the two babies to join Beyoncé as formation background dancers, they need to have a serious back up plan. And I think we can all agree there are very few out that can even compare to Beyoncé. The festival that earned over $84 million in 2015 has the money to pay for the best of the best. So in the event that Beyoncé can no longer make her highly anticipated performance Coachella better be packing star studded back ups.I wish nothing but health and happiness for the singer and her babies. But I, like most prospective Coachella goers can’t afford (literally) to be disappointed by Beyoncé dropping out. This potential no performance stunt is really adding a whole new meaning to the star’s hit song “Irreplaceable.”
As a realist, I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. As for Coachella’s sake, I hope to hell you’ve been in touch with Gaga.