The new release of the Nintendo Switch got me thinking about the effort Nintendo puts in to make their consoles look so cute. While cuteness is generally relative, there are basic qualities of an object that make it pleasing to the eye for any viewer.
Look at this pig, no really look at it. What about this pig makes it so cute? I have stared at this pig for seven straight hours and have deduced why it makes me want to squeeze it.
Now, how does this relate to video game consoles? Video game consoles, for a while, stuck with the big and chunky look, the Hummer cars of home entertainment. You know they are packing a punch, but the drawback is that they lose all charismatic charm best represented by video games. So in this, I will scientifically detail the top five cutest video game consoles.
5. Playstation 2 Slim
The Playstation 2 Slim is a slight cop-out, since it isn’t the original console design. It is a remodel that released four years after the fact. What lands the PS2 Slim on this list is how small and compact the console is. It makes taking your PS2 on the go a possibility, like when you take your Chihuahua in your purse for a Taco Bell run. However it does lose points in the color/face category, as it mostly retains the drab style of the original PS2.
4. Nintendo Entertainment System
The original Nintendo Entertainment System was the first of its kind at the time of its release. No, I don’t mean in video games but with trend setting the cute style. It invites the player to open up the hatch and enter a world of gaming possibilities. Just make sure to blow on the cartridge first. The face is also very user-friendly, with two controllers ports and buttons for power/reset. The NES does lose when it comes to the color, as after a while the white of the console will turn to a yellowish-brown and my repeated attempts to clean it in the bathtub have lead to multiple emergency room visits.
3. Sega Dreamcast
The Sega Dreamcast came out at a weird time in the video game industry, as it was one of the first to do 3D graphics. It continued the grand tradition of cute consoles though, especially with the swirl at the top like a pig’s tail. It also allows you to take the memory card on the go and play games on it, so you can tend to your Chao Garden or play mini-games anywhere. The Dreamcast is compact for how much power it has under the hood, and its rounded top will make anyone want to rub and pet it for hours on end. The one spot where it fumbles is the face, as it doesn’t have that immediate pleasantness you want in a games console. But god damn that swirl!
2. Nintendo Game Boy Color
The Game Boy Color not only set the bar for portable gaming, but it brought the cute console factor to the masses. With its many color schemes, the Game Boy Color is not only a console but a fashion statement. This is also thanks to it’s size, as you can easily put it in a pocket and take it on the go. Where the Game Boy Color sadly falters is the power switch location, which leads to many accidental shut-offs. Something cute can never bring aggravation and stress like a Game Boy Color.
1. Nintendo GameCube
Nothing can ever beat the Game Cube on the cuteness factor. A console that comes in multiple fun colors, has a user-friendly design and even has a handle on the back to take it on the go. Who wouldn’t want their favorite cute creature to have a handle? Even when you go to put in a game, the hatch opens up like a cute puppy with it’s ears perked up waiting for your attention. While it has more mass compared to other consoles on this list, it does however fit the console well because it’s in the perfect spot of not too big but not too small for a home console.
When it comes to making cute video game consoles, Nintendo is miles ahead of the competition. While some have stepped up to bat, Nintendo time and time again comes out on top. I’m glad the Switch Nintendo has retained this cute aesthetic, as it is one of the driving forces for why video games can bring people together. Just like with a cute puppy or cat, a console can bring people from all walks of life together. Now if only there was one way to combine both of them…