Some people really like attention. Those who want attention the most will go to amazing lengths to get it. Think of Britney Spears shaving her head and Royce Feuer running for ASUN President with a “don’t vote for Royce” campaign slogan.

It makes sense that world leaders tend to be the most attention hungry. As the leader of the free world (Donald Trump) or leader of the not-so-free world (Kim Jong-un), everyone else listens to you and looks at you constantly. It’s like being the loudest, most annoying kid in class except your class is the entire human race. It’s especially easy to grab attention when you have the world’s most destructive weapon at your disposal.

Usually those annoying kids can’t do much harm to the rest of the class. Their only goal is to be looked at. That’s why they blurt things out and occasionally bite someone when their attention meter is low. They thrive on being the one kid in the room that always has something controversial to say or do. We all grew up with one of these kids in school.

But what do you do when those angry little kids can actually do some real damage? Instead of just blowing spit wads and putting chewing gum in girls’ hair, they have gigantic bombs that can blow up the planet. I say you treat them exactly the same way, and eventually they’ll get tired and take a nap.

North Korea wants nuclear weapons, but nobody thinks that’s a very good idea. It’s always been this way, and things have been fine. We just ignore whichever Kim is in power, roll our eyes a little bit and go on with our day. Even South Koreans don’t give him the satisfaction of listening to what he says, and they have to share a peninsula with him! Kim can’t hurt anyone if you don’t rile him up. Unfortunately, Trump came along, and was irked that Kim was getting so much of the spotlight. So, he butted his way in and reminded everyone that he has big bombs too.

What we have here is the classic case of two man-children trying to get the most attention from the rest of the class. We innocent citizens are the classmates, just trying to get through the day without any catastrophic events. Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un are the emotionally unstable attention seekers who play with the idea of catastrophic events because it gets everyone else excited. I’m not sure who the teacher is in this situation – maybe God or maybe Rick Sanchez?

We do live in strange times with these people in charge, but should we really take their chest puffing and threats seriously? Should we be worried that these testosterone-filled tough boys are going to start a nuclear war? I don’t think so.

If Kim tries anything bold – like shoot down one of our planes or send a missile to Guam – Trump won’t hesitate to blow him up. That’s probably not in Kim’s best interest. If he’s dead, how is everyone going to pay attention to him?

As we try our best to make sense of the fact that the fate of humanity could rest in Trump’s dainty, moisturized hands, it’s important to remember that he’s just a child looking for attention, and so is Kim. I’m confident we aren’t starting a new cold war, and I don’t think it’s time to stock up on bottled water, canned food and AK-47’s for your bomb shelter just yet.

Ignore the excited attention-seekers until they get tired. They’ll move on when they realize nobody is listening.