The popular scene from Legally Blonde where Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon), is watching a romantic movie eating chocolate and looking rather dismayed when the TV says, “I will always love you” and she screams back, “Liar!” is too close to home for many women post-breakup.
Some would argue, that it is hard to find your soulmate when you’re a teenager. Dating coach Tracey Steinberg explained, “It’s definitely possible, but it’s rare because the chances of you knowing who you want to be with at 40 when you’re 17 are kind of low.” “But it happens, and love is rare. And it’s worth the wait if it’s real.”
During the few malleable years of college, students are encouraged to “find themselves”. This period is the stepping stone between adolescence and adulthood, where we are introduced to a plethora of new opportunities and experiences.
In high school, we are too immature to know what we want. In college, we are focusing on ourselves. The question is, “When are we done with finding ourselves, and ready to find someone?”
In China, women think it’s in their 30s. Recently, a popular book was written by Chinese American author Joy Chen called “Do Not Marry Before Age 30”. The book tackles a popular Chinese epidemic called, “the leftover woman”, where a woman older than 25 is classified as ‘unwanted’ by society. The pressure put on women to marry before 25 has made divorce spread in China. Chen writes, “We are the first generation of women who want it all.”
The Atlantic explains that the book credits a popular Chinese app to fulfill the void of a boyfriend, “Love and Producer”. Users are a female producer who can choose from four different ideal ‘actors’ and create an imaginary relationship with them. For example, one feature is to schedule their boyfriend to text them at a certain time with a perfect, sappy message. According to the app creators, this application gives users “the appeal of Love and Producer is the ‘wish fulfillment’ it provides—the thrill of dating ‘without all the risks, potential humiliation, tragedies, and comedies’.”
Living in American culture, this makes me step back and question, “Is love worth it?” Why do people put themselves through the stress, agony, and uncertainty of romantic relationships?
The Dalai Lama doesn’t think so. From a peaceful standpoint, romantic relationships lead to stress for the couple and their children. When asked in a CNN interview about temptation, the Dalai Lama explained, “Oh, yes, sometimes see people. Oh, this is very nice. But then thinking — thinking it’s a real job, then feel, too much problem.”
The spiritual guru really makes one think, is love worth it? The conflict and force put on couples could distract them from reaching their goals. A significant other is supposed to help build you to become a better person but in reality, it seems like they just tear you down.
Opinions expressed in The Nevada Sagebrush are solely those of the author and do not necessarily express the views of The Sagebrush or its staff. Jordyn Griffin is a student at the University of Nevada and studies journalism and international relations. She can be reached at email@example.com and on Twitter @NevadaSagebrush.