When a student steps foot on campus, it is the first moment they are away from a watchful eye and experience a sense of responsibility and freedom. Naturally one can expect a college student to experiment in many different acts of delinquency and along with that, we can see an increase in sexual activity. The same of course goes for individuals who are gay. As a gay man, I’ll admit gay hookup culture is a joke.
Hooking up is not a secret anymore. It has become something embraced all around, and has become a part of the culture in the gay community. Something as easy as whipping out your phone and going on Grindr and finding a 22-year-old with toned abs and looking to hook up is now totally normal and acceptable.
For guys my age, this is our introduction to the gay community, along with the 3 million daily active users Grindr has. Nothing genuine comes out of meeting someone. It is more like online shopping. Two to three clicks later you have a man knocking on your door. He comes in, you talk for a few minutes, have sex and then send him on his way.
With making this a norm in the culture it has been the construct of how individuals treat each other in hookup etiquette. Individuals have lost their ability to connect and along with that goes the ability to make anything meaningful.
When you are on Grindr or any other meeting app, you’re just another option to choose from. The guy that just “tapped” you will most likely be superficial and super forward. It is something that we know of but it has also been addictive to the community.
According to a study conducted by Time Well Spent, the average user spends 61 minutes on Grindr and 77 percent of those surveyed felt regret after using the app but will choose to use the app again.
Take a slot machine, for example. A gambler will not know what his next payout will be, if any, but the thrill of finding out keeps him going. Now picture a slot machine whose payout is in orgasms and hot men at unpredictable intervals. Not hard to see why it’s addictive.
Despite it being normal and affecting the way people make connections, hooking up in the gay community, you do get the occasional creep trying to slide in.
Although you can set preferences of what you are looking for, 10 minutes into any app you get a tap from a 50-year-old and there’s a message saying “hey baby what you up to?” Even after you leave them on read or express you are not interested, they still persist on trying to hook up with you.
It is something that one gets disgusted by. This man who is older than my parents is looking to have a fun time with me, and what makes it worse is that the profile says “prefer younger”. Creepy much? I’d say yes.
Then you have the occasional messages that the first thing you see when you open up the message is an unsolicited nude followed by “Hey man. Cute pic, want to f**k?”
Did I ask for that? No. It is just something that person felt they needed to include so I would hook up with them. And I’d totally want to get in bed with you after you totally violated my eyes with the first message.
It has become so common that you now have to put on your profile asking others to not send any unless asked for. Why do I have to be the one to ask not be sent a totally-uncalled-for picture? I should not have to ask, but it has been something so common that it is getting annoying and creepy.
Hooking up in the gay community has been a way for the community to forget about valuable connections. Not only has it shown to make people feel unhappy, but it has also allowed for addictive behavior. Gay hookup culture is a joke and will continue being a joke.
Opinions expressed in The Nevada Sagebrush are solely those of the author and do not necessarily express the views of The Sagebrush or its staff. Jacey Gonzalez is a student at the University of Nevada and studies journalism. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter @NevadaSagebrush.