When cold weather strikes, there’s no better feeling than getting bundled up in some nice autumn clothing. Flannels, sweaters and hoodies. Slacks or jeans with long wool socks. Et Cetera. There’s a certain magic walking around campus in crisp fall air and seeing everyone walk around in their autumn best, bright leaves littering the floor. Except, what’s that? Is that some guy wearing shorts? In this weather?
Is nothing sacred anymore?
Hot take—wearing shorts in cold weather should be banned.
I’ll never understand how or why guys wear shorts when it’s freezing cold outside. It’s unnatural, it looks wrong. This isn’t meant to come off as snobbery, but rather genuine confusion about people’s life choices. The ire I feel towards people wearing shorts in the cold is fully irrational, I am afflicted by an unnatural disgust towards my fellow brethren who in all other aspects I would probably respect deeply. The dark energy of the clothes is responsible for this. I propose a ban be instituted, worldwide. Am I making a big deal out of this? Absolutely, but I would sleep better at night knowing the evil is banished.
Cold take—Cold weather clothing is superior
Perhaps I hate seeing shorts outside of the warmth of summer because warm weather clothes are just inferior. There’s so much less that can be done fashion-wise when it’s too hot to wear anything besides a tee-shirt, shorts, and sandals. Layered clothes present so many more opportunities to put a good fit together. More options are unlocked: jackets, scarves, beanies and cardigans. Every decrease in Fahrenheit degrees on the thermometer means another chunk of people will put away their tank-tops and put on a jacket like civilized people do. The world starts to feel a little more harmonious because it’s a lot harder to mess up an autumn outfit than a summer one, so the average person looks just a little more put-together, and things outside don’t seem so desperate. Until, of course, some guy comes out in shorts.
Hot Take, Cold Take is a weekly column where Nevada Sagebrush Opinion Editor Vincent Rendon presents both a hot and cold take on a given subject. A hot take is a little outlandish and might not be a popular opinion. A cold take is something hopefully more people can agree with.
Vincent Rendon can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @Vince Sagebrush.