Starbrush is the Nevada Sagebrush’s column devoted to the interconnection between astrology and college life. 

Congrats! You survived the first leg of the semester, hopefully with your sanity (mostly) intact. Now it’s time to kick back, relax and enjoy spring break, right? Well, as we all know, best-laid plans don’t always turn out the way we want them to. For some of us, surely the next week will be a White Claw-fueled fiesta of fun. Yet, it’s also possible your spring break winds up riddled with various anxieties, or derailed by a hostile agent (Coronavirus? Overbearing family? Overbearing family with coronavirus?). Spring break should feel like the calm before the storm, a moment of relaxation before the proverbial orcs of the second semester storm the proverbial Helm’s Deep that is your psyche. If something is going to go wrong, we better get a heads up. So, for this week’s Starbrush we’re going to look to the stars and predict how everyone’s spring break will unfold. 

Aries ♈

Your spring break is destined to be fun, but be careful—you might find yourself in some sort of trouble! Classic Aries, always rushing headfirst into things. The stars have no doubt your courage will lead to some epic moments, but you’re equally likely to crash through a glass coffee table during a round of shenanigans. Such is your ethos. 

Taurus♉

Tauruses thrive during long breaks because it gives them time to do something. During this spring break, it’s likely a taurus will use their extra time to plan and execute something rather impressive. You might not get a lot done, but the few things you do will be masterfully put-together with the care and patience only you possess. 

Gemini♊

Your spring break will certainly be a movie, but will it be more like the beginning half of “Spring Breakers” or the latter half of “Spring Breakers”? That all depends on how well-accustomed your friends are to your specific quirks and peculiarities. If you are worried partying with your friends will lead them to throw you off the boat, maybe just take it easy at home this week. 

Cancer♋

Sorry to say it, but your spring break might just fly by without anything happening. Unless you actively fight against your nature, it might seem like no one wants to hit you up. Remember: you can get things started too. I believe in you.

Leo♌

By the end of the week, your friends might need some space. They won’t stop liking you, but sometimes you get caught up in the good times and try to stretch them out over days or a whole week. Also, your personality makes you extra susceptible to coronavirus, so watch out.

Virgo♍

Nothing bad will happen to you this week. Even if everything around you is crumbling, something about your energy will keep it away like a forcefield. Yet, somehow, you might leave the week feeling unfulfilled.

Libra♎

Don’t let the fun times pass you by this week by being indecisive. Sometimes Libras are hesitant to take risks, or are afraid of getting “arrested” by the “police.” Don’t be a coward. You’ve got this. 

Scorpio♏

You are going to cause some chaos this week, isn’t that great? The problem: you really need to be relaxing but will forget to recharge because you’re having too much fun. The next week back at school will be rough, but you’ll be able to look back fondly at your whirlwind spring break at least.

Sagittarius♐

This upcoming week will be a fun one for you, but there’s also a good chance one of your friends will leave this week in a bad mood with you. Think before you speak, Sagittarius.

Capricorn♑

Look, I’ll be honest, the stars seem to think this is a good time of year for something unfortunate to happen to poor Capricorns. Of course, it will be your own fault, but the cosmos will surely snicker at your maladies. My advice? Don’t do anything stupid. Save the free solo rock-climbing or axe-throwing bars for summer vacation.

Aquarius♒

Time to catch up on sleep! Aquarius will find themselves enjoying a well-balanced spring break, but perhaps with more snoozes than normal. That’s fine—you deserve it, Aquarius. 

Pisces♓

Spring break falls smack-dab in the middle of Pisces season, so the outcomes will be even more unpredictable for an already volatile sign. Whatever you do, be prepared with lots of water and maybe some emergency tissues. Things could get wild.

Want to write for Starbrush? Vincent Rendon can be reached at vrendon@sagebrush.unr.edu or on Twitter @VinceSagebrush.