What’s With All The Birds?

Walking in and around our massive campus is a core part of student life here at the University of Nevada, Reno, and although it may feel mindless to many at this point, it is still no easy task. As a freshman, I came to the realization that our fellow students have taken up various forms of transportation to make this daunting task more convenient for themselves. Bikes, E-Bikes, skateboards, longboards (hoverboards?), etc. You get the idea. Now, while I do envy the people fortunate enough to ride these fun, personal vehicles, I hold nothing against them… Except for the electric scooters; they suck.

I do not like electric scooters, specifically Bird Scooters. My disdain for these things most likely stems from my lifelong love for skating culture (although I cannot skate myself), and the stigma that the community tends to have towards scooter users in general. But honestly, they’re just lame in my opinion.  

I mean, look at it this way: when someone is riding a skateboard (or any board for that matter), they have to take the time to learn that skill, and they actually look cool doing it. Watching some random dude hit an ollie over the stairs by Great Basin Hall, then try and fail to hit a pop shuvit a few seconds after was just cool. On the other hand, to ride a bird scooter you just need simple balance, a dollar or two, and a low amount of self-respect. I mean, the number of times I have almost been hit by one of them in the last week alone has me looking over my shoulder constantly as I’m walking to class. Not to mention the lack of thoughtful parking, and the fact that they just look ugly. Their tackiness in comparison to a simple skateboard or bicycle is reminiscent of seeing a Tesla Cybertruck on the road next to a flock of classic American muscle cars. They are just so out of place on our beautiful brick-lain campus that I think they should just be gone altogether. 

When comparing the Birds to the boards, there are a few key reasons that they are simply inferior, and it’s not just their lack of style points (although I will touch on that more). For one, a skateboard can be quickly dismounted, carried into class, and set down perfectly underneath your desk. There are even backpacks specifically made to carry boards handsfree. You can’t simply bring a Bird scooter into the classroom, and many students choose to just park them in the middle of a walkway. Another reason I find the Birds to be distasteful is the danger (real or fake) I feel when one whizzes right past me. You can’t really hear the scooter coming, at least not until it’s a few feet from you, and in most situations, reflexes and reaction time are the only thing saving you from being brutalized onto the pavement. A skateboard, on the other hand, has a very distinct, loud sound, and in my experience at least, many skaters choose to get off their board when approaching a pedestrian-heavy walkway and then get back on once they pass the crowd. This is unlike the scooter riders, who think that since they paid to zoom around campus, they have the absolute right-of-way in all situations — forcing the unfortunate walkers to move out of their way. 

Now, when it comes to the parking situation, I believe something must be done to quell the chaotic mess these scooters have brought upon the University. There are Birds parked in front of doors, Birds parked in the middle of the sidewalk, hell, there are Birds parked on top of signs and columns. It is not only unappealing to the eye, but also extremely inconvenient, and at times — a safety hazard. I have tripped one time due to a fallen Bird posted in the middle of the sidewalk and have almost tripped countless other times. Mind you, it is barely week one of the semester. One can only pray that they don’t trip over one of these technological abominations, acquiring a fresh bruise — or worse, a broken bone — in the many weeks of school we have left. 

I understand that getting completely rid of the scooters is an almost-impossible task, but I do believe that there should be more regulations put into place for them. There should be readily identifiable parking spaces for these scooters, outside of every building. This could be easily done; a few cans of paint and a bit of manpower is all it would really take to make the campus much safer, and more beautiful. There should also be stricter enforcement banning the use of scooters on pedestrian-heavy walkways to reduce the risk of accidents. Perhaps a $10-15 fine would do the trick, or maybe new infrastructure could be put into place to prevent the scooters from ever making it onto these walkways; either way, I personally would feel significantly safer on my way to class if such things were put into place. These are just a few ideas, but ideas that I think would go a long way. 

Now, I have spent this entire article dissing on the scooters, and I am yet to ride one. You could say I am not qualified to have such harsh opinions on them, and that I am simply wrong. So, I will acknowledge the fact that the Birds do make navigating our large campus significantly easier, and that maybe, just maybe, they are really fun to ride around on. Yet, I still do not like them and refuse to ever get on one as a form of petty protest. 

I clearly have some very negative opinions on the Bird scooters and do see them as an issue at UNR. If you share the same thoughts as me, or were persuaded to do so, great! If not, I would love to know your opinion(s), and perhaps you can change my mind.