Maybe you met him at The Wal, maybe you met him in your computer science class. Or, if you’re particularly unlucky, you met him while he was a fifth-year senior majoring in business (yikes).
It doesn’t really matter what hole he crawled out of, because all college situationships are the same. They’ll have you calling your mom, ruminating between classes and maybe even crying in your 9 a.m. lecture.
If you’re thinking of giving him (or her) another chance, let these real-life stories remind you why your college situationship probably doesn’t love you.
“He kicked me out at 2 a.m. His apartment is a 30-minute walk from my dorm. It was 20 degrees outside.”
– Sneaky Link Turned Trackstar
“He told me he wanted to marry me and got a new girl three days later. I found out by seeing them together in the dining hall.”
-Emotional Eater
“He asked me to set him up with two of my friends in the span of three weeks.”
-Unwilling Wingman
“She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship, and then hard launched with another guy on Instagram a week later.”
-Story-Stalking Loverboy
“I was talking to a guy for two months and when I didn’t go over to his dorm to ‘watch a movie’ at 2 a.m., he ghosted me.”
-Definitely Not A Booty Call
“My situationship-turned-boyfriend cheated on me, and then shaved his head and joined an acapella choir.”
-Bullet-Dodging Dream Girl
“I brought a guy back to my dorm for the first time, and he stank so bad like Fruit Loops cereal I had to spray my bed with Febreze. A few weeks later, he found out I was telling everyone he smelt like Fruit Loops and confronted me about it, but I doubled down and told him yes, he smelt like Fruit Loops. He never talked to me again.”
-More of a Reese’s Puffs Girl
“My friend FaceTimed me while I was in his room, saying he was actively trying to make things official with another girl. He’d been talking to her for a year and me on-and-off for months. I took my bag and ran out the door. I said bye to his abused dog, though.”
-Girl on the Side, Never the Bride
“He told me he was moving to a different state two days before he moved. So he took me to his penthouse (not even kidding) and he did in fact freak it, then he moved and I didn’t hear from him for a week.”
-Queen’s Dead
These stories might remind you of your own college situationships. If they do, take this article as a sign to grab what’s left of your dignity and run for the hills as fast as you can. Every situationship comes with its own special brand of evil, but the loser is always the one who stays too long. Know the score, and walk away.
