Uh oh, it happened: you woke up in a dorm room that is not yours. You may be asking yourself, “How did I get here?” or “Who is this man?” but skip those questions, just for now, and ask, “How the hell can I get out of here?”
You can think about what bar you met him at, how many drinks you had, and how hard your head is pounding once you are in the comfort of your own room.
At this point, the walk of shame is inevitable, however, getting out of the room as quickly and quietly as possible will allow for more walk and less shame.
Not sure what I mean? Lucky for you, here is Ella Mayo’s Walk of Shame Escape Plan.
Step 1: Getting out of bed
Go ahead and spare yourself the details of the scene. Don’t look back, don’t look around, just pull yourself out of the bed. Slow, steady movements are key here. Don’t scoot off and risk waking what’s-his-face up by shaking the bed, lower and rotate until your feet are just above ground.
Step 2: Gather everything
Phew. Okay, you made it out of bed. Now very carefully look around the room and gather everything that belongs to you. Don’t leave a single trace behind because, trust me, you do not want to go back to that room again. And you know, if you feel like it, take a little souvenir too.
Step 3: A graceful exit
Now that you have what you need, and maybe a little extra, creep out of that room and close the door gently behind you. The only issue now is that you’re in the hallway and you look exactly how the name implies… shameful.
Step 4: Own it
Yes, your makeup looks a mess, and yes, you smell like a mix of tequila and boy-sweat… but you’re out of there. Now just own it, and do the walk of shame all the way to your room and most importantly, your shower.
There it is, follow these four easy steps to escape the depths that is a man’s dorm room and you’ll be doing the walk with a little less shame.
