I know you’re thinking about it. You’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks, a few months or even a few years. He hooked you in the beginning on promises of greatness, and like any politician, he’s failed to deliver. USPS has a better guarantee of trust and delivery of expectations than the solid four you’re spending the night with.
As time goes on, you settle for less and less, just deluding yourself thinking it’ll get better (author’s note: it doesn’t). The more life you waste on nothing-burgers, the more light they’ll suck from your eyes.
Before you keep reading, go look in the mirror. Find a picture from B.B.L. (Before Big Loser), and ask yourself if you can recognize the person you are today. If you see dull eyes, maybe some hair loss and breakouts too, chances are this guide is for you.
You might be saying, “But Jaq, please, he wasn’t always like this. He was great in the beginning.” That’s like saying “But please, he’s like my friend,” to someone who just went on a crazy string of hot takes, but it doesn’t count because they’re drunk.
Stop making excuses for this person based on a hope that deep down, the person you’ve created in your mind lives somewhere inside him. He isn’t thinking this hard about you. Actually, he might be wondering when you’ll break up with him so he won’t have to pull the plug himself.
Do yourself a favor and break up with him. College is such a transformational experience, and it only happens once in the average student’s life.
Loser boyfriends are more common than the chances of Taylor Swift getting shown on the Jumbotron at a Chiefs game. You have a whole life of potential flop relationships, but the memories you make in your first years of adulthood are irreplaceable.
No woman has ever missed out on incredible opportunities or chances to fulfill her dreams because she dumped her boyfriend. If you can think of one woman who significantly benefitted from settling for Josh from Sigma Chi, please let me know by sending a response to the Nevada Sagebrush tip line.
But wait — it’s not just the 5-foot-8-inch frat guys you have to worry about. Even the rich and smart ones rank high on the LQ (Loser Quotient). Take Mr. Big from “Sex and the City” for example: he was decently smart, somewhat funny (for a guy), and incredibly wealthy, but we still watched him play in Carrie Bradshaw’s face for 94 episodes and two movies.
He might have the cleanest resume and LinkedIn you’ve ever seen. Too bad there isn’t a dating history subsection under “Skills”… But maybe that’s for the best, because I wouldn’t consider “treating a woman right” a skill. At least it shouldn’t be.
Now, most women know how to distinguish right from wrong in people. That’s not feminine intuition, that’s common sense. We all said “Swiper, no swiping” with Dora. But, I get it, you may feel inclined to swipe right, despite the guy only having group photos and political party identifiers on dating apps.
Stop making excuses for your partner. This is why we have a “situationship” problem. This is why your Pinterest wedding board sits dusty and forgotten after 10 years of dating. Ask yourself, when was the last time you got flowers that weren’t because he “had” to or to apologize for something?
You have to stand up. The more standards you adjust to match your man’s insufficiency, the more you disappoint the generations of women that stood up and fought for you and the life you get to live now.
This is feminism. While you sit and cater to the chud on your couch, another woman is chasing her goals and dreams untethered to her ungrateful (now ex) boyfriend. He will prevent you from doing everything you desire to do. He will expect you to choose him time after time, even after you’ve pleaded with him for a night off.
You don’t owe him any more than he owes you. In fact, you don’t owe him anything more than what you’re already willing to give. Stop picking him. He’s not picking you. If he really cared about you, he would have shown it by now.
It’s really not that hard. It’s natural to us, humans. Showing love for one another is something we all gravitate towards and have a full capacity to do. So, love yourself this time around. You have all the time in the world to find the relationship truly meant for you. What is meant to be will work its way into your life, whether you believe it or not.
