Toward the end of the Christmas season, Robert Eggers’ retelling of Nosferatu took social media by storm. Like many, I heavily anticipated watching the film and experiencing the visual masterpiece that so many critics have raved about. While watching the film in my theater, one concept that constantly kept distracting me was why the audience around me would react very strongly (arguably immaturely) to any of the sexual moments in the film. Nosferatu’s main theme focuses on the vulnerability and connection that sexual relationships can provide.
The stigma of discussions about sexual desires can frequently cause awkwardness that people may process in the form of jokes, disassociation, or even avoidance. It made me wonder if our media today accurately reflects the modern and casual approach that we have towards sex behind closed doors and in private.
If we were to examine the nature of what humans experience, sex is a connection that a large majority feel deep emotionality toward. After all, most of us wouldn’t be created without the natural process of physical connection between two people. Society stigmatizing this topic is intriguing considering that the main message is to suppress or privatize it, however, in our own independent time, many people are more “freaky” than what our first impression of them would suggest.
It is essential to mention that generalizations are almost always an unrealistic representation. While not technically everyone is freaky or suppressing their experiences behind closed doors, I personally feel it would be fair to say that many are. Likely due to a fear of being misunderstood, judged, taken out of context or even ostracized, a lot of our sexual desires remain hidden even though their existence is prevalent and revealing them could strengthen the bonds with others around us.
Due to this hidden nature, media (films, music, books, artwork, etc.) doesn’t accurately reflect the sexual experiences and personal feelings that our peers feel internally and this stigma likely comes from the vulnerability that the audience feels when confronted with these topics. Similar to what I experienced around me when I watched Nosferatu, a majority of audience members watch movies as a form of casual escapism, rather than an intellectual confrontation to their feelings and biases. Many media conglomerates have realized that ensuring audiences don’t feel completely uncomfortable while watching a film is exactly what brings more profit to their platforms.
The method of human processing when we are confronted with a topic that makes us feel uncomfortable can differ by person and is oftentimes unpredictable. It is frequently based on our past experiences and what we were taught growing up. Some of us may react with anxiety, some of us may react with avoidance, and some of us may react with acceptance and reflection. However, finding a way to artistically produce work that reassures all three distinct styles can become very tricky. It is a balance that many artists, philosophers and social human beings struggle to achieve, which makes it easier to neglect even if it sacrifices a valid message and conversation.
Unfortunately, a huge amount of what society does behind-the-scenes in their free time will remain unstudied and mysterious. Even in studies with anonymous focus groups, you have to consider whether the individual is suppressing or skewing their sexual experience and thoughts because of their fear of revealing too much and creating awkwardness.
To Improve society’s perception of this very typical behavior, we would need to become more perceptible to confronting what makes us uncomfortable. It takes multiple decades to convince the masses to adapt to changes, but many of the most inviolable changes that have improved our society as a whole came from people pushing for others to be exposed to what makes them feel emotionally discomfited. While we cannot pressure everyone to do this overnight, we do have the ability to change our sole perspective and approach.
In the end, it all comes down to exposing ourselves to what we fear. Conquering our fears creates the freedom we crave; running from fear only reinforces our insecurities.
Gabe Kanae can be reached via email at gkanae@sagebrush.unr.edu or via Twitter @NevadaSagebrush.
