In today’s fast-paced world, the presence of a “safe space” is more crucial than ever. A safe space is not just a physical area, but a mental sanctuary—a place where you can retreat, decompress and feel secure. For many, their home serves this purpose, a place where the chaos of the outside world can be left at the door.
However, what happens when this sanctuary is compromised? My experience with a roommate conflict has shown me just how detrimental it can be to lose that critical space.
Last year, I lived in a shared house where my roommate’s parents owned the property. Initially, it seemed like an ideal setup, with everyone getting along and respecting each other’s boundaries. But that harmony was shattered after a disagreement with my roommate.
In a fit of anger, she decided it would be best to refuse to speak to me for an entire month instead of reconciling. Given the fact that we encountered each other nearly every day due to sharing a bathroom, it turned what was once a peaceful place to a hostile and unwelcoming for me and my three other roommates.
The impact on my mental health was immediate and severe. Without a safe space to retreat to, I found myself constantly on edge, unable to relax in my own home. The stress affected my sleep, my work and even my relationships outside the house. It was a harsh reminder of how essential it is to have a space where you feel safe and secure.
This situation also highlighted a broader issue: the lack of cohabitation skills some people possess. Living with others requires a level of empathy, communication and compromise that not everyone has developed. My roommate’s actions were a clear example of this. Instead of addressing the issue directly or seeking a resolution, she chose to isolate and punish, a response that not only hurt me but also created a toxic environment for everyone else in the house.
Research has shown that the presence of a safe space is vital for maintaining mental well-being. Studies indicate that individuals who lack a stable and secure environment are more likely to experience heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression.
A compromised safe space can disrupt daily life, leading to a decline in academic performance, strained relationships, and an overall decrease in quality of life. This underscores the importance of ensuring that one’s living environment remains a place of refuge, where the mind and body can recover from external pressures, according to a study published in the National Library of Medicine by Jihun Oh and Jeongseob Kim in 2021.
However, it’s important to consider her perspective as well. She was likely dealing with her own emotional turmoil, perhaps feeling betrayed or hurt in a way that made her feel justified in her actions. The fact that her parents owned the house may have also given her a sense of entitlement, making it harder for her to see the situation from my point of view. While I can understand her perspective, it doesn’t excuse the impact her actions had on my mental health and the overall atmosphere of the house.
In the end, I made the difficult decision to move out. While it was a challenging experience, it taught me the invaluable lesson of the importance of a safe space. It also reinforced the need for open communication and mutual respect in any living arrangement. Roommates should be mindful of the impact their actions have on others, especially when it comes to shared spaces that are meant to be a refuge from the outside world.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that your mental health is paramount. It’s essential to advocate for yourself and seek out a living environment that supports your well-being. Losing a safe space can be incredibly damaging, but it can also be an opportunity to find a new sanctuary that better suits your needs.
Amidst the stress of classes, navigating friendships, and trying to stay afloat in a university setting, having a safe space is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity. And ensuring that space remains safe requires effort, understanding, and a willingness to co-exist harmoniously with those around you.
Photo by Galina Kondratenko on Unsplash
Opinions expressed in The Nevada Sagebrush are solely those of the author and do not necessarily express the views of The Sagebrush or its staff. Emily Hess is a student at the University of Nevada studying journalism. She can be reached at emilyhess@sagebrush.unr.edu and on Twitter @emilyghess3.
